Why Radio 1 is shit.

RahRahRah! Damn BBC cutters! With their cutty ways. Sitting in their little cutty cut-rooms, cutting all our favourite things. 6 Music, Asian Network, my grandma's life support chord, the rope that holds a 1,000 lb anvil above a hutch full of little bunnies just sitting, muching on carrots, waiting for their lives to burst into fruition. The cutting bastards!

YES we all know that 6 Music is a fantastic station but NO you did not listen to it regularly did you Mr. "I'm going to sign a petition and voice my outrage"? You listened maybe once or twice, maybe not even at all! But you'll sit on your facebook page, clicking "Become a fan" on every single group or page you see dedicated to saving a station that, somehow, no-one and everyone listens to. Doesn't it strike anyone else as odd, that a station that is supposedly listened to by over 160,000 people (according to the facebook group) on a regular basis, was even thought about as a possible section of the BBC network that qualified to be cut? I'm sorry, but this is just "Sachsgate" all over again. A bunch of people who just want to complain, come out of the woodwork and claim to be avid fans of 6 Music, then harangue the Beeb for ever considering cutting their favourite station. I realised this, of course, after I signed the petition. But that's not the point.

My point is, that the BBC should take a long hard look at what they have on their network. 6 Music, while being a great station, doesn't get many listeners. While Radio 1, which is a shit station, gets thousands each day, because it has an FM frequency. Give 6 a frequency spot and I guarantee the numbers will go up! Better yet, give 6 Music Radio 1's slot! Everyone needs to realise that Radio 1 is just a playlist, repeated over and over again until the clock hits midnight and someone with a shred of musical integrity gets a turn at the decks once a week.

I would rather listen to the sound of a hutch full of little bunnies being crushed underneath a 1,000 lb anvil than listen to Fearne Cotton talk about how she "loves" the new tune by N-Dubz or Owl City or just about bloody anyone she plays on her mind-numbingly boring show. And I would roll around in the bloody, stinking remains of those crushed bunny rabbits before I wilfully listened to Greg James spout his usual mouth-excretions about "how cool" his week's been or the time that he met Howard out of Take That. I DON'T CARE. I want to listen to music that I haven't heard before, not the same song that the last 5 DJ's have played previous to this bloody show.

Cut Radio 1 BBC cutters. Leave us with 2 for the oldies, 3 for whatever they do, 4 for the old people, 5 for the sport and 6 for the MUSIC. And stick Zane Lowe on there too, he's starting to turn into a commercial prick but he still plays some good tunes. And please let me tell Fearne Cotton she's out of a job, I'd love to see how cheerfully she reacts to that. Knowing her she'd probably hug me and skip down the street before hurling herself of a bridge, smiling like a twat and going "gurrrrrrrrrrrrrr" before she hit the water, face first, never to return again.